I&#39;m learning to breathe on my own...

"Yeah," she sighs, still not sure what to think about the whole thing. "It looks that way. We don't know what we're gonna do about it yet, though. I mean, he's gay. Not really prime husband material, unless you're a guy."

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"You'll figure it out," Fred offers. And she believes it. But something links in Fred's mind as she stares at Cordy's ring. And thinks on another.

"Is Wesley ok?"

Cordy. Wesley. Kara.

Right now, it was sort of all she had to focus on.

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"Honestly? I don't really know. I've hardly seen him since I got here. He seems to have taken the whole thing kinds hard." She shrugs. "But he'll be okay. He's got Ben, and a wedding to plan. Or more like I do. I'm the Best Man."

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"Right..."

He had taken her hard.

Still, Fred finds a smile.

"That's sounds really great though, about the wedding and the best part. Do you think it's cause they knew you would throw a totally amazing bachelor party?"

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"Nah, I'm just Wesley's Best Man. Ben's got some friend of his standing up for him. It's just," she shrugs, "a best friend thing, I guess."

Though she does have plans in place to make it an awesome bachelor party, whether Wesley wants one or not.

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Fred nods, happy with Cordy's answer.

"Sooo....shopping? And think we can convince Kara?"

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"Shopping, definitely. We can ask her again when she comes down, but she's still feeling kind of sick." She grins at Fred. "I think she got into a little of the rat poison this weekend, too."

Or at least, Nicole Kidman did.

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"Ask her what?" Says a voice from the top of the stairs. "And I did NOT get into the rat poison!"

And then she's jumped over the bannister and has landed on the floor.

"Is there a ring on this finger, Cordelia?"

But she isn't holding up her ring finger when she says it.

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"Kara!" Cordelia gasps, jumping to her feet. "What's gotten into you?"

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Fred her seat, Fred just watches.

Smiles.

And watches.

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She almost answers - Katie Holmes - which makes Kara wonder WHAT HAS gotten into her.

"Sorry." She says instead and throws the postcards on the table.

"Choose one for... her, Mrs. Bloom."

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Cordelia looks at Kara, thinking. She wants to tell her that Fred has a name, but at the same time, she can understand why she's avoiding using it. Finally, she sighs and scoops up the postcards, then holds them back out to her.

"They're your postcards, not mine. You should pick which one Fred gets." And maybe she stresses the name, just a little bit.

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The smiles falters, something broken.

"Look...I can go." Fred can't seem to look at anyone. She hates when she looks up, and in those rare seconds the diffrence is there. And tiring.

"Cordy has her clothes..." And what? "And it's fine."

She wishes that saying it made things true.

"Really, it's fine."

Just like she wishes she wouldn't cry.

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Kara sorts through the postcards on the table and in the end settles on one that shows a casino that looks like one of the Pyramids. It seems appropriate.

She writes on it:

Wish you were here! The tropicana was fab!!! Hugs and Kisses, Kara

Pink pen. She has only just got herself out of the habit of doting the I's with love hearts. It had been a hard habit to break.

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Crap.

Cordelia turns to Fred and grabs her arm before she can turn away. "You don't have to go anywhere. I came here to see you, and we're going shopping."

She looks back at Kara and even though there's understanding in her eyes, there's anger there as well. "Kara, you don't have to go with us if you don't want to, but making Fred feel badly isn't doing anyone any good."

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Fred works to will her tears away, mentally, instead of something easy like swiping them with her hand. Somewhere in there she shakes her head at Cordy, before turning to Kara again.

Fred takes the postcard, and pictures it on her fridge. The first thing on her fridge. Tucking strands of hair behind her ear, Fred reads the message. Then looks down at her shirt. Then back up at Kara.

"Green," she points out.

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"I'm not blind." She says and then she regrets it straight away. As soon as the words leave her mouth. It's a horrible tension, horrible, between wanting to love Fred (after all, this is the same person, really, isn't it? Except the other Tucker wasn't like her Tucker at all. But this Fred feels like her Fred. And it is so so confusing.) and wanting to - well - she isn't sure how to describe the other thing she wants.

And she can just imagine the look Cordelia is giving her now.

"You know in Vegas," She tells Fred, suddenly, "They have pyramids bigger than the ones in Eygpt. It's pretty awesome. You could probably get married in one. Although you only get married in coconuts in the totally tacky places. I don't know who would do THAT!"

And she grins at the end. To Fred. At Cordelia's expense.

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"Very funny, Kara," Cordelia says, though she doesn't sound all that amused. But at least Kara seems to be making an effort again. To be nice to Fred.

"Are you gong to come shopping with us, or not?"

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"Yeah, okay. Someone has to stop you from marrying the barrista at Starbucks while you're at the mall. He's totally GAY, too."

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Fred grips the postcard a little tighter, her fingerprints marring the glossy surface. She sighs. Now it's all smudged.

Now she wants to apologize for her shirt too. Only, she doesn't. Because wouldn't that mean saying she was sorry for who she was? When she wasn't, not at all.

So she returns Kara's smile instead.

"Well, that's better than not wearing any coconuts at all, right? Because if you are refering to a certain picture?" Fred glaces at Cordy. "The coconuts seems kinda key."

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Yeah, just what she was hoping for - more talk about that picture.

"The coconuts were very key, yes." She thinks for a moment, then grins. "Orlando woke up the next morning wearing them."

Ha. That's MUCH more embarrassing for him. She feels better now.

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"I better get changed if you really want me to come."

No matter how far she has fallen from social popularity, Kara Keating is not going to the Mall in a tracksuit. No way. Never ever.

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"Of course we do."

It probally even something bigger than that.

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