I&#39;m learning to breathe on my own...

"Ask her what?" Says a voice from the top of the stairs. "And I did NOT get into the rat poison!"

And then she's jumped over the bannister and has landed on the floor.

"Is there a ring on this finger, Cordelia?"

But she isn't holding up her ring finger when she says it.

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"Kara!" Cordelia gasps, jumping to her feet. "What's gotten into you?"

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Fred her seat, Fred just watches.

Smiles.

And watches.

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She almost answers - Katie Holmes - which makes Kara wonder WHAT HAS gotten into her.

"Sorry." She says instead and throws the postcards on the table.

"Choose one for... her, Mrs. Bloom."

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Cordelia looks at Kara, thinking. She wants to tell her that Fred has a name, but at the same time, she can understand why she's avoiding using it. Finally, she sighs and scoops up the postcards, then holds them back out to her.

"They're your postcards, not mine. You should pick which one Fred gets." And maybe she stresses the name, just a little bit.

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The smiles falters, something broken.

"Look...I can go." Fred can't seem to look at anyone. She hates when she looks up, and in those rare seconds the diffrence is there. And tiring.

"Cordy has her clothes..." And what? "And it's fine."

She wishes that saying it made things true.

"Really, it's fine."

Just like she wishes she wouldn't cry.

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Kara sorts through the postcards on the table and in the end settles on one that shows a casino that looks like one of the Pyramids. It seems appropriate.

She writes on it:

Wish you were here! The tropicana was fab!!! Hugs and Kisses, Kara

Pink pen. She has only just got herself out of the habit of doting the I's with love hearts. It had been a hard habit to break.

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Crap.

Cordelia turns to Fred and grabs her arm before she can turn away. "You don't have to go anywhere. I came here to see you, and we're going shopping."

She looks back at Kara and even though there's understanding in her eyes, there's anger there as well. "Kara, you don't have to go with us if you don't want to, but making Fred feel badly isn't doing anyone any good."

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Fred works to will her tears away, mentally, instead of something easy like swiping them with her hand. Somewhere in there she shakes her head at Cordy, before turning to Kara again.

Fred takes the postcard, and pictures it on her fridge. The first thing on her fridge. Tucking strands of hair behind her ear, Fred reads the message. Then looks down at her shirt. Then back up at Kara.

"Green," she points out.

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"I'm not blind." She says and then she regrets it straight away. As soon as the words leave her mouth. It's a horrible tension, horrible, between wanting to love Fred (after all, this is the same person, really, isn't it? Except the other Tucker wasn't like her Tucker at all. But this Fred feels like her Fred. And it is so so confusing.) and wanting to - well - she isn't sure how to describe the other thing she wants.

And she can just imagine the look Cordelia is giving her now.

"You know in Vegas," She tells Fred, suddenly, "They have pyramids bigger than the ones in Eygpt. It's pretty awesome. You could probably get married in one. Although you only get married in coconuts in the totally tacky places. I don't know who would do THAT!"

And she grins at the end. To Fred. At Cordelia's expense.

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"Very funny, Kara," Cordelia says, though she doesn't sound all that amused. But at least Kara seems to be making an effort again. To be nice to Fred.

"Are you gong to come shopping with us, or not?"

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"Yeah, okay. Someone has to stop you from marrying the barrista at Starbucks while you're at the mall. He's totally GAY, too."

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Fred grips the postcard a little tighter, her fingerprints marring the glossy surface. She sighs. Now it's all smudged.

Now she wants to apologize for her shirt too. Only, she doesn't. Because wouldn't that mean saying she was sorry for who she was? When she wasn't, not at all.

So she returns Kara's smile instead.

"Well, that's better than not wearing any coconuts at all, right? Because if you are refering to a certain picture?" Fred glaces at Cordy. "The coconuts seems kinda key."

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Yeah, just what she was hoping for - more talk about that picture.

"The coconuts were very key, yes." She thinks for a moment, then grins. "Orlando woke up the next morning wearing them."

Ha. That's MUCH more embarrassing for him. She feels better now.

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"I better get changed if you really want me to come."

No matter how far she has fallen from social popularity, Kara Keating is not going to the Mall in a tracksuit. No way. Never ever.

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"Of course we do."

It probally even something bigger than that.

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"Yeah, okay. I'll be quick."

Which by Kara standards means Fred and Cordelia probably have enough time to have that cold drink and maybe even go for a swim.

Kara's already running back up the stairs, taking three at a time, so it seems as if she barely touches the ground.

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Fred watches Kara's moods bounce and shift round the foom with force, and speed, and awe.

"That's...that just amazing."

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Cordelia chuckles to herself and sits down again. "No kidding. She's a spitfire."

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"That and then some," Fred agrees. "But it suits her."

She continues to beem just at the sight of Cordy.

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Cordelia nods. "Maybe it's a slayer thing, all that energy. Buffy could be like that sometimes, too."

She looks over and sees Fred grinning. "Okay, what's got you so smiley all of a sudden?"

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Fred shrugs slightly.

"Ya'll make me smiley, what can I say? I guess I don't really have any defense against it, not that I want one."

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Cordelia grins at her. "Nothing wrong with that. It's good to see you smiling. I'm just sorry Kara was being so... well, teenager-like."

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