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You really, maybe can. Again.
Jul. 3rd, 2006 11:40 pmShe needed to go home.
Fred wasn't exactly sure just when she put all that together. It started nearly a year back of course, with nearly everyone encouraging to go back, at least for a while. And the phone calls had been more frequent lately, especially after the BBQ. There'd been the familiar sound of her folks voices, wrapped around a just as familiar topic, and that had left a little pit in her center that all the smores in the world couldn't fill. By the time she'd looked down to figure out her latest numerical scrawl was her old address, written in every possible way, she knew there was no way round it.
She missed them. And she needed them in a way that she hadn't in a long, long time. Maybe not since that certain car ride.
And of course that was part of it. You spend enough time telling all of them, all of them, how you don't belong in, or anywhere near a place, and then you go and change your mind in something so much smaller than a second? There there came that need to prove her herself. To them, and to her, that she'd made right by that decision. There needed to be the evidence she'd done the right thing.
That meant lots of things, but one of them was not going back. At least for a while.
But now she was the only thing keeping herself away. Herself, her head, her thoughts. They were all attached weren't they? She needed to face them down, and it seemed all the more important to face them down before the week was up. So Fred just up and bought the plane ticket, and decided it was ok to trust for the rest to follow.
For all that it was her home Fred was going back to, it'd belonged to her folks longer. And for all that she'd been alive, she'd been alive just that much longer for her them. An idea they had, and loved, long before Fred had ideas, and things to love all on her own. And as daunting as that much history could get, there was something to be said for that kind of knowing too.
Mind made up, Fred slipped upstairs and started to pack.
Fred wasn't exactly sure just when she put all that together. It started nearly a year back of course, with nearly everyone encouraging to go back, at least for a while. And the phone calls had been more frequent lately, especially after the BBQ. There'd been the familiar sound of her folks voices, wrapped around a just as familiar topic, and that had left a little pit in her center that all the smores in the world couldn't fill. By the time she'd looked down to figure out her latest numerical scrawl was her old address, written in every possible way, she knew there was no way round it.
She missed them. And she needed them in a way that she hadn't in a long, long time. Maybe not since that certain car ride.
And of course that was part of it. You spend enough time telling all of them, all of them, how you don't belong in, or anywhere near a place, and then you go and change your mind in something so much smaller than a second? There there came that need to prove her herself. To them, and to her, that she'd made right by that decision. There needed to be the evidence she'd done the right thing.
That meant lots of things, but one of them was not going back. At least for a while.
But now she was the only thing keeping herself away. Herself, her head, her thoughts. They were all attached weren't they? She needed to face them down, and it seemed all the more important to face them down before the week was up. So Fred just up and bought the plane ticket, and decided it was ok to trust for the rest to follow.
For all that it was her home Fred was going back to, it'd belonged to her folks longer. And for all that she'd been alive, she'd been alive just that much longer for her them. An idea they had, and loved, long before Fred had ideas, and things to love all on her own. And as daunting as that much history could get, there was something to be said for that kind of knowing too.
Mind made up, Fred slipped upstairs and started to pack.
