You know, I'm really not all that picky, and maybe that says some things right there that I really don't feel like addressing right now. But for the longest time, for a word like that, you just learn to take it when it comes.
I like to yell so loud it makes my throat raw, and baths so hot that the bubbles sting, and I forget the dirt was ever there. I like pancakes, well breakfast in general really. But anytime that there can be talking and food, sharing the space and not all shoved together? Or one lost, sacrificed for the other? That's something that more than relaxes. I like to read my Physics textbooks before bed. And I like....love, calling home, and talking to my folks. Something about it settles, relaxes from the inside out. So much time's spent trying to get there the other way, picking and pampering our outsides, as if that'll make the hurts less visible. So the relaxing can come from there, because our reflection's at least a little easier to look at that way.
But sometimes, most of all? I love a good ramble.
Letting all the words come together, not trying to censure them, or myself, because those can be different things, and I've never really liked how people tried to take control of words, make them all their own...borrow, but don't take, because I might go looking for them sometime, trying to make myself heard, or seen, or even...and maybe I'm not so afraid of that anymore either.
That's more than relaxing, and ever so much better than keeping it in.
I like to yell so loud it makes my throat raw, and baths so hot that the bubbles sting, and I forget the dirt was ever there. I like pancakes, well breakfast in general really. But anytime that there can be talking and food, sharing the space and not all shoved together? Or one lost, sacrificed for the other? That's something that more than relaxes. I like to read my Physics textbooks before bed. And I like....love, calling home, and talking to my folks. Something about it settles, relaxes from the inside out. So much time's spent trying to get there the other way, picking and pampering our outsides, as if that'll make the hurts less visible. So the relaxing can come from there, because our reflection's at least a little easier to look at that way.
But sometimes, most of all? I love a good ramble.
Letting all the words come together, not trying to censure them, or myself, because those can be different things, and I've never really liked how people tried to take control of words, make them all their own...borrow, but don't take, because I might go looking for them sometime, trying to make myself heard, or seen, or even...and maybe I'm not so afraid of that anymore either.
That's more than relaxing, and ever so much better than keeping it in.