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Sep. 6th, 2006
Checking the Math
Sep. 6th, 2006 11:15 pmIt's amazing the things a body can do without paying any sort of attention. Drive a car without considering the road. Have a conversation without looking a person in the eyes. Some people, not her mind you, could even put on their make up with looking in the mirror. So was it any wonder that she'd popped a pill or two without a lick of concern for it's color. After all, most things considered, Fred didn't even really need them. Not anymore, at least, with one glaring consideration to be reconed with. And it had been, as much as it would be. And if Fred didn't consider herself for having learned her 'lesson' with Devin, she did believe she'd learned something about herself.
But the pills? They were habit, as much as anything else. You brushed your teeth. You rinsed your mouth. You refilled the same glass, tap water of course. People just got silly about that sometimes, she thought. But, refil the glass, and grab the pack. The pill, then the hair. Because the hair, and the tangles, always had to be tackled. That she did always pay attention to. So why Fred picked the first day of class, her very first day to stand up in front of the lot of them --- oh there were lots of them, and make an impression, give one. Like she knew what she was doing? Why did she pick that day to look down?
...and notice the color. And count backwards. And do the math. And count again, and the math, again, and when, really, was the last time she'd reached for the bottom left hand drawer, and the small box inside. Slowely, Fred pulled it open, holding her breath until it stung. It was full, which meant it was verymuch too full. She'd bought a new one after her last period, she was sure of it. The numbers weren't hard, it really wasn't all that many of them and easy to count. And yet, much too much all at once. It couldn't be full.
( Read more... )
But the pills? They were habit, as much as anything else. You brushed your teeth. You rinsed your mouth. You refilled the same glass, tap water of course. People just got silly about that sometimes, she thought. But, refil the glass, and grab the pack. The pill, then the hair. Because the hair, and the tangles, always had to be tackled. That she did always pay attention to. So why Fred picked the first day of class, her very first day to stand up in front of the lot of them --- oh there were lots of them, and make an impression, give one. Like she knew what she was doing? Why did she pick that day to look down?
...and notice the color. And count backwards. And do the math. And count again, and the math, again, and when, really, was the last time she'd reached for the bottom left hand drawer, and the small box inside. Slowely, Fred pulled it open, holding her breath until it stung. It was full, which meant it was verymuch too full. She'd bought a new one after her last period, she was sure of it. The numbers weren't hard, it really wasn't all that many of them and easy to count. And yet, much too much all at once. It couldn't be full.
( Read more... )