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Taking a walk.
Jun. 13th, 2006 07:51 pmSince she'd never made the trip back home with her folks, not to stay at least, Fred was a little surprised how easy it was to go home again. After hiding at Keelia's for a few more hours and getting very little figured in her head, she'd decided there was really nowhere else for her to go. She couldn't add a fourth day to the third, especially now, so she'd slipped back into the house as cleanly as possible.
She hadn't thought it would be this easy, no matter what'd been suggested. And easy wasn't the right word either, but for some reason her head couldn't process a better one. Because it wasn't easy, it was just easier than the rest. Oh, as best she could, she'd made up her mind not to tell Wesley, and every last point had been taken in. But minds were like beds, they got unmade almost everyday. And Fred was a little worried about when, or if, that might happen. Because it still didn't fell right, the not-telling. But did she really have a place to feel anything about it, anyway?
All those things in her head, in the asides, and she still managed to go on filling the days like they'd been lately. There were errands in the morning, cooking lunch, maybe planning dinner. Whatever it was it needed to be transient, meals that were easily moved to every corner of the house. Sometimes any one of them got so wrapped up in any number of things, and the plate just not rested to the left or the right, whatever free space there was. Left until the eating was gone. She read in the library whenever she could, trying to catch up on the languages that always eluded her, and lessons plans could always be counted on too. Fred was a little unsure of what to do with how easily it all was just there, the routine.
It'd rained the day before, and looking out the window everything just seemed greener than usual, nothing faded from the heat of the summer. It didn't take any more than that to encourage a walk. All the talking, and not talking, lately had opened up doors she'd never opened before, and she hadn't been sleeping as well lately, a few of the old nightmares creeping back. Maybe Devin was right. Maybe facing them down was the way to make them go away for good. But the other maybe? Was that she might not be ready too. They'd fade soon enough, no matter what. They always did, if she waited long enough. At least a walk would be a way to pass the time.
She headed upstairs to slip on better shoes and grab a small shoulder bad. She tossed several things inside, including some mindless best seller or the other she'd grabbed at the grocery store. After stopping for a couple of apples and a bottle of water, Fred headed out the door.
She hadn't thought it would be this easy, no matter what'd been suggested. And easy wasn't the right word either, but for some reason her head couldn't process a better one. Because it wasn't easy, it was just easier than the rest. Oh, as best she could, she'd made up her mind not to tell Wesley, and every last point had been taken in. But minds were like beds, they got unmade almost everyday. And Fred was a little worried about when, or if, that might happen. Because it still didn't fell right, the not-telling. But did she really have a place to feel anything about it, anyway?
All those things in her head, in the asides, and she still managed to go on filling the days like they'd been lately. There were errands in the morning, cooking lunch, maybe planning dinner. Whatever it was it needed to be transient, meals that were easily moved to every corner of the house. Sometimes any one of them got so wrapped up in any number of things, and the plate just not rested to the left or the right, whatever free space there was. Left until the eating was gone. She read in the library whenever she could, trying to catch up on the languages that always eluded her, and lessons plans could always be counted on too. Fred was a little unsure of what to do with how easily it all was just there, the routine.
It'd rained the day before, and looking out the window everything just seemed greener than usual, nothing faded from the heat of the summer. It didn't take any more than that to encourage a walk. All the talking, and not talking, lately had opened up doors she'd never opened before, and she hadn't been sleeping as well lately, a few of the old nightmares creeping back. Maybe Devin was right. Maybe facing them down was the way to make them go away for good. But the other maybe? Was that she might not be ready too. They'd fade soon enough, no matter what. They always did, if she waited long enough. At least a walk would be a way to pass the time.
She headed upstairs to slip on better shoes and grab a small shoulder bad. She tossed several things inside, including some mindless best seller or the other she'd grabbed at the grocery store. After stopping for a couple of apples and a bottle of water, Fred headed out the door.
